Pushing the boundaries

So I've been getting out more lately. I'm tackling my social phobias of going places by myself. I figure I better get used to it since I won't always have a buddy to go out and do what I want to do when I want to do it, right? I know, I could just forego certain things until others want to do them, however (and this is not meant to be mean), I spent the last several years not doing things I wanted for that reason. It's time to stop.

Last week, I went to a local neighborhood bar that John and I used to frequent and chit chat with the bartender. I went for a drink & dinner and talked to the bartender and a few people at the bar. It was awkward at first, but turned out OK. I still don't think I can bring myself to eat at a sit-down restaurant by myself - but I don't really think I need to do that anyway since I don't eat out that much anymore and can usually find dinner partners.

I've also been frequenting this new club in Lakeview on Fridays. A couple of DJs have started an electro-industrial night there and it's picked up some decent steam. The first few times I went, I went with other friends, however, now that I'm getting to know some of the regular people, two weeks ago I went by myself. I wasn't sure if anyone I knew would show up, but I wanted to go, so I went, talked with the bartender, a couple of the DJs, and Heather & Carl and a few school friends did eventually show up. It felt a little weird to be there by myself at first, but I kinda feel like I belong there now. It's always preferable to go with at least one friend, in my opinion, since that way you're guaranteed conversation. But it's nice to know I have a few local haunts I feel comfortable on my own in.

Another milestone: I used to dance, a lot. When I first turned 21 I went out dancing almost every week. Granted it was to dance-clubby clubs since that's what most of my friends did. I stopped going because most of those friends either moved away, stopped going, or had kids, and John wouldn't go. I think also the weight I gained over the years made me really self conscious about the way I looked - so I stopped. (Thankfully, due to eating better, walking more, and getting off my ass, I've had to have pants taken in and am able to wear clothes that haven't fit me in years.) Well, I went to a Mardi Gras dance party at the same bar mentioned above with a couple friends from work and I actually got up and danced. It doesn't hurt that the DJ in the dance floor room was playing old school industrial, which does get me going. I got up, and pretty much didn't stop except for water and pee breaks. I've always needed a buffer of people around me when dancing - so that I don't feel like I'm being watched. Last night, I kept on dancing even when there were only 3 of us left. I was feeling pretty good, looking pretty good (in my festive mardi-gras purple corset). So - horray for me.

I'm re-discovering some of my youthful indulgences. Good thing a lot of my friends are "kids" of the clubbing age.

15 albums that effected you

Finally one of these lists that makes total sense for me to do, given how I've always turned to music as therapy...

Instructions:

Think of 15 albums, CDs, LPs that had such a profound effect on you they changed your life. Dug into your soul. Music that brought you to life when you heard it. Royally affected you, kicked you in the wasu, literally socked you in the gut, is what I mean.
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In no particular order:

1. Pink Floyd -Wish You Were Here (what, not Dark Side??, nope. but it was close)
2. Meryn Cadell- Angel Food for Thought
3. Radiohead - The Bends
4. The Doors - Morrison Hotel
5. Nine Inch Nails - Pretty Hate Machine
6. George Carlin - Class Clown (ok, not music, but still)
7. Led Zeppelin - Houses of the Holy
8. Ministry - The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste
9. Green Day - American Idiot
10. New Order - Substance
11. Rage Against the Machine - Rage Against the Machine
12. Johnny Cash - Live at Fulsom
13. Lupe Fiasco - Food & Liquor
14. Peter Gabriel - Us
15. Ramones - Road to Ruin

Pictures!!

In lieu of an actual post, which I promise I'll get back into soon - I'm in one of my dry spells where I haven't had time (or energy) to think about writing anything substantial. I think after I move next month and things start to settle down and the pieces fall into place, I'll be a bit more myself. Until then.... PICTURES!!

Those readers who know me from way back when know there was a time when I would not be caught dead without my camera in tow. Alas, those days are long gone - my old Minolta SLR died many years ago and that was at the time when manuals were giving way to digital and digital SLRs were (and still are) cost prohibitive. Also, I'd have to spend time learning how to use all the do-dads on a digital SLR. So I gave up taking pictures for a while because there's only so much you can do with a point and shoot. I decided recently, what the hell, I'll just take my camera everywhere and just take pictures... So here's some pictures from recent stuff.


The Feminist group on campus that I am the staff advisor for co-sponsored the Clothesline Project this year. This is a project initially started to draw attention to violence against women and give a creative outlet to victims and their friends & families. Survivors, friends and family of survivors decorate t-shirts to give voice to victims. The different colors mean different things (pink is for rape, blue is for sexual abuse, etc). The shirts are then displayed as a clothesline (though we didn't have supplies strong enough to hold the weight of the shirts, so we pinned ours up to boards). Our group decided to include all forms of domestic violence and added a color for male victims as well - because they are often ignored.








I only wish I could draw. This is one of my contributions to give voice to women who have been killed because they tarnished their family "honor." So called "honor killings" are a huge problem in tribal areas across the world where women are the vessels of family honor that men are sworn to protect. Something as innocent as being seen with a non-family member male in public can be enough to get a woman killed in some places.


Garfield Park Conservatory: One of my favorite places in all of Chicago and a hidden gem that very few people realize is there. It's in the Garfield Park neighborhood, which has historically been very run-down and very poor. There has been development here recently and about 15 years ago the city poured a ton of money into restoring the conservatory and the park, which had fallen into disrepair. From the website:

In the late 19th century, each of the three large Westside parks had its own small conservatory and propagation greenhouses. After 20 years of use, these conservatories fell into a state of disrepair and became obsolete.

In 1905 Chicago's West Park Commission's general superintendent and chief landscape architect, Jens Jensen, demolished the three smaller greenhouses in Humboldt, Douglas and Garfield Parks to create what was intended as "the largest publicly owned conservatory under one roof in the world" in Garfield Park. Many of the original plantings came from the three smaller Westside conservatories.

Constructed between 1906 and 1907, the Garfield Park Conservatory was designed by Jensen in collaboration with Prairie School architects Schmidt, Garden and Martin and the New York engineering firm of Hitchings and Company. It represents a unique collaboration of architects, engineers, landscape architects, sculptors and artisans.

Jensen conceived the Conservatory as a series of naturalistic landscapes under glass, a revolutionary idea at the time. The simple yet strong shape of the structure, which is meant to emulate the haystacks of the Midwest, complements the collection of plants and foliage that it houses.

Referred to as "landscape art under glass," the Garfield Park Conservatory occupies approximately 4.5 acres inside and out, and includes cold frames and propagating houses where thousands of plants are grown each year for displays in Garfield, Lincoln, and Grant Parks.

Located in the midst of historic Garfield Park on Chicago's redeveloping West Side, the Garfield Park Conservatory is one of Chicago's best kept secrets and one of the nation's botanical treasures. It ranks among Chicago's most unique sites, attracting visitors from a variety of cultures, disciplines and interests.

Both Garfield Park and its conservatory are listed on the National Register of Historic Places. Over the years the Conservatory has been recognized as an internationally significant horticultural facility as well as a cultural asset to the surrounding community and the city of Chicago.










The new apartment. It's empty, so it looks a lot bigger than it is - but it is still a really great-sized space for me.

Built in cabinet between the kitchen & dining room - perfect for kitchen storage.
Looking from the dining room into the kitchen & living room
It's a galley kitchen, but since there's a dining room, that doesn't really matter to me.



Last but not least: Annie enjoying her Frosty Paws ice cream on her 7th birthday yesterday! (Don't blame me, my vet, who is the sweetest woman on the face of the earth, estimated her age at 3 months when we got her in May, 2002 and set her "birthday" as Valentine's Day.

Pupdate

So I took Annie to a training evaluation last night and go good news. The trainer doesn't think her aggressive behavior is caused by anxiety or stress, but rather a lack of clear direction from me (and John) about what behavior is appropriate. He said he could tell that she didn't regard me as a leader, but as an equal, and that's a problem with dogs because they'll push their boundaries.

She's been babied and spoiled into thinking that anything goes, and thus, doesn't take direction well. He said the problem is easily fixable with a few obedience lessons which I will start after I move.

Move date is mid-March. The place is clean, empty, in good condition and I'll likely start moving some small stuff and boxes over the course of the next several weeks. I reserved movers for the furniture and big stuff because it is a 3rd floor walk up.

I stopped over there with dad last night and he approved of the place - always a good sign. Annie had no problems with the stairs and was eagerly sniffing around the empty space. I think she'll adjust well and will have plenty of room.

25 things

This has been making the rounds:

25 random things about yourself...

1. I've never had the chicken pox. I broke down about 5 years ago and got the chicken pox vaccine when friends started having kids.

2. I believe every woman should have a basic set of tools (and know how to use them) and every man should know how to replace a button.

3. I hate mayonnaise but love cole slaw. Go figure.

4. I was a tom boy for most of my childhood and refused to wear dresses or skirts from about age 10 to 16.

5. This is the first time in my life I've had more female than male friends.

6. I like to cook, but only when I have time to do so - on weekends or days off.

7. I've always been better at math than at English/literature/languages.

8. I am a slow reader. I get easily distracted when reading and often have to re-read sections. Needless to say, this is why I have only started reading for pleasure fairly recently. Before that, school reading took up all of my patience..

9. It sounds terrible when I say (or write it), but I'm happier now than I have been in years.

10. I love inappropriate and offensive humor.

11. I was always jealous of my dad and his siblings for their red hair. It skipped my generation completely.

12. I wish I'd learned to play the drums instead of the clarinet.

13. I love taking pictures but hate having pictures taken of me.

14. It is extremely rare for a movie to make me cry. There's probably about 5-6 total that have ever really made me cry and only one that can make me cry every time I watch it - Cinema Paradiso.

15. I have seen Neil Diamond in concert... twice! I will not apologize.

16. I love to have full sleeve tattoos, but I hate wearing long sleeve shirts, especially in summer and I'd never know when I'd have to cover them.

17. I dress in layers because I switch from being hot and cold on a dime. Short sleeves with a sweater is my preferred combination.

18. I toyed with the idea of getting a PhD and decided there was no one field I was *that* focused on to put that kind of effort and money into. Though working at a university, I could easily just collect Masters degrees.

19. I am suspicious of all true believers.

20. My trust is easily earned, but once lost, it's usually impossible to regain.

21. I wish I could find a way to stop biting my nails. I've tried it all.

22. I hate spiders.

23. I think there's no lower form of scum than a person who would abuse children or animals.

24. I much prefer talking to someone in person than on the phone. It's too hard to read the other person over the phone.

25. My brain is a repository of random movie quotes.