29 November 2006

Reason # 213 not to move to Colorado

Beyond Focus on the Family, anti-gay assholes, NORAD and the fact that my friend Donna was stared at as if she was the last remnant of the failed Japanese invasion of 1941.... Yet another reason not to move to Colorado:

DENVER -- A subdivision has withdrawn its threat of $25 daily fines against a homeowner who put a Christmas wreath shaped like a peace sign on the front of her home.

Homeowner Lisa Jensen told the Associated Press on Monday that the board of directors of the Loma Linda Homeowners Association had apologized, called the incident a misunderstanding and had withdrawn its request for the wreath's removal.

Jensen was ordered to take the wreath down when residents in her 200-home subdivision saw it as a protest of the Iraq war. Bob Kearns, president of the board, also said some saw it as a symbol of Satan.

AP





Yeah, cuz we all know that Peace on Earth isn't a Christmas sentiment at all and that Jesus HATED peace-loving hippies. Seriously - since when is a Peace sign a symbol of satan? I thought the Prince of Darkness was supposed to bring un-ended war to the land before Christ returned to set things right?

28 November 2006

A day in the life

So we're almost done cleaning up the living room and getting everything put away. We got our knick nack shelves. John has someone coming in tomorrow to mount and wire the projector on the ceiling. We could do it ourselves, it's not that hard, but we also want some help keeping all the wiring neat and tidy.

We sat down after dinner to watch some "TV" and we hear noise coming from above. Our upstairs neighbor (broadzilla) makes a lot of noise and we don't know what she's doing. Sometimes it sounds like she's vacuuming, other times like she's rolling something across the floor. So here's our conversation from 10 minutes ago that just had me on the floor nearly peeing in my pants.

Me: "What the hell is she doing up there? Maybe she has an exercise machine.
John "No, that's her vibrator"
Me: "Ew... Or she's a compulsive vacuumer..."
John: "Either that or she takes off her pants and her tail drags across the floor"

26 November 2006

Procrastination Station

I'm supposed to be reading for class and working on my research paper (Identity Politics and Muslim Women). But alas, I am distracted by any means to avoid doing what needs to be done.

This weekend has been quite eventful. Thursday's Thanksgiving was fun. My immediate family and a few cousins - none of whom were carrying plague this weekend. We rented a car for the weekend and as we were driving to my parent's house on Thursday, we saw a homeless man sitting in the park reading (what a nice day to be outside). Feeling pretty lucky and privileged about our own situation, we took a detour to Boston Market and got him a turkey sandwich and some side dishes. He was very appreciative and seemed like a nice man just down on his luck.

Friday, we re-wired all the components in preparation for the Queen of the Universe to take our gigimongous TV Saturday morning. I then took a nap and went out to Neo with Cillic, Heathen, The Queen and her new boy.

The Queen of the Universe came to take the TV and we dumped the TV stand in the alley (it's already gone, along with the side table and blender we left out there Friday). Chicago tradition - put it in the alley - someone will take it. We're now trying to get the room back into livable conditions. There's still some straggling "stuff" that needs homes - but that should be solved once our knicknack shelves we ordered from Target arrive.

We will eventually end up mounting the projector on the ceiling, since where it's at right now is just slightly too much of an angle for it. It's allllmost straight, but not quite. Then we'll move the painting that hangs above where the picture hits the wall up a few inches, paint the wall with specialized paint and voila. We will now have room to use the fabulous new table we purchased last month. Space saving, well-crafted items are just what we need right now.

We met some folks for lunch in Evanston Saturday afternoon, before which, I just happened to stop in a shoe store and found a nice pair of black, knee high boots! Annie ate my old pair when she was a puppy and I could never find a pair that fit me (and didn't make me look like a Bangkok-style whore). They didn't have my size, but another store did, so we picked the up today. My problem with those kind of boots is that my calf muscle is too large to fit into most of them. Even if they have the goring or a slight expansion - too small. These are made of flexible gortex (waterproof, breathable, and warm!) and the heel isn't too high for me.

We were able to take the bike out this weekend - probably the last time before winter really hits. It was 60 degrees in Chicago on Thanksgiving - but Global Warming is just a myth - really.

All in all, I'd say it's been a good weekend. Back to work tomorrow, fun fun.

22 November 2006

Gods bless and keep YouTube

Every Thanksgiving, in addition to playing Alice's Restaurant in its entirety, WXRT (my favorite radio station) always plays clips from the classic WKRP in Cincinnati Thanksgiving episode. It never fails to make me laugh.

I promise I will actually write another post soon, but until then, enjoy...

21 November 2006

How women should act

Brought to you by Focus on the Family and other such crazies...

This is too funny.

20 November 2006

Bah Humbug

Thanksgiving isn't even over yet and I'm already seeing ads on TV for Christmas crap. Decorations, trees, bad movies, game systems, you name it. Christ, stores have had decorations and gift wrap since just after Halloween. Seriously folks, why don't we just merge it all into one holiday. Merry Thanksgivoween? Some of our neighbors have already started putting up lights - which I actually don't mind as much as some of the other tacky crap people come up with. Lights are pretty, if they're not done by Clark Griswold.

In other news, it's been just about a year since Annie's surgery and she's doing fine. We still cringe when she stumbles a little, but other than that, she's just about as active as she ever was. She still chases squirrels back into their trees and tries to jump on visitors.

Nothing in our collection of electronic goodies has depreciated in value as much as our TV. We've decided to get a projector instead, since the TV just takes up too much room. It's a 34" flat screen (not flat panel - there's the rub). Flat panels are now so affordable that there's no reason to buy a tube TV anymore. We've tried selling it on craigslist, giving it to friends in exchange for buying dinner. We're at the point now where we'll probably end up donating it to charity - at least then we can write it off on taxes I suppose. We really wanted it to go to someone who would take care of it and appreciate it. The thing is too freakin heavy to ship anywhere and we really need it out soon so we can re-arrange the room the way we need it. Depreciation is a bitch, man.

15 November 2006

I'm a populist and proud of it - by Lou Dobbs

I never used to pay much attention to Lou Dobbs, since "Moneyline" and all that economic mumbo-jumbo makes little sense to me. But the more I hear of him and from him, the more I like what he has to say. I don't agree with everything he says, but he's always articulate, well-thought, and well-meaning in his commentary.


From CNN

Editor's note: Lou Dobbs' commentary appears every Wednesday on CNN.com.

NEW YORK (CNN) -- The Democratic victory last week has our political elites in both parties and in the national media squealing like stuck pigs. Way to go, America, we may be on the way.

It seems nothing frightens our free trade and pro-illegal immigration orthodoxies more than putting the common good and the national interest above dominant special interests, corporate America and, of course, our darling elites in both political parties and the media.

The Bush administration long ago took polemics and false choices to a high art form. On the issue of the war in Iraq, this administration has starkly defined our choices, until recently, as "stay the course" or "cut and run." Any critic of our conduct of this war, like me, has been declared unpatriotic. Any critic of this administration's faith-based economic policies that drive its free-trade agenda, like me, has been labeled an economic isolationist.

But now the name-calling and labeling is reaching a new level, and from all quarters. The political, business and media elites have called me a "table-thumping protectionist" because I want balanced and mutual trade, because I want this country to export as much as it imports. They've called me a racist, nativist xenophobe because, in order to win the war on terror, the war on drugs and to stop illegal immigration, I want our borders and ports secured.

Over the past week, pundits and savants of both the left and the right have been trying to simultaneously define me and the newly elected Democratic victors in the Senate and the House by accusing us of being populists. What a dirty little word. Horrifying.

I admit to being, among many other things, a proponent of populism. But I do believe my critics should look up the definition before they sling the word at me like a filthy epithet. On second thought, it may be to them, because a populist is, after all, nothing more than "a supporter of the rights and the power of the people." In fact, I'm a damn proud populist.

Since the election, there's been an incredible confluence of one of the nation's most liberal online magazines -- Slate -- with one of the world's most traditional establishment newspapers -- The Financial Times -- to decry what Slate columnist Jacob Weisberg calls the ascension of the "Lou Dobbs Democrats."

Weisberg decries what he sees as my "economic nationalism" and instructs us that such nationalism "begins from the populist premise that working people aren't doing so well. But instead of blaming the rich at home, it focuses its energy on the poor abroad."

The Financial Times also published Weisberg's column, obviously equally unsettled with the possible turnaround in the new Congress, which could inconveniently lead to some mild discomfort for the Times' corporate masters and some marginal improvement in the lives of America's middle class.

Both Slate and The Financial Times resist saying what I've been saying loudly and clearly: We're in a class war, and our middle class is losing, and losing badly. But I do blame and have blamed the rich, corporate America and our political elites in both parties who have permitted the unabated assault on middle-class working men and women and their families. And by God, I hope they're right about the Lou Dobbs Democrats, and I hope they find some Lou Dobbs Republicans in the fight to return our government to the people.

I have never blamed the poor of Mexico, China or India for corporate America's avarice and our political elites' cowardice. I blame us for forgetting that the United States is first a nation, and secondly a marketplace or an economy, and I blame us for being taken as fools by both political parties for far too long. It is not nationalism by any stretch of the imagination for me to remind those in power that our political system, our great democracy, makes possible our free-enterprise economy, and not vice versa as the elites continually propagandize.

From the right, The Weekly Standard lamented that the Lou Dobbs Democrats "didn't just attack the GOP's corruption and malfeasance; they embraced a more thoroughgoing economic populism...." The conservative Standard is obviously more upset that the newly elected Democratic senators and congressmen want to focus not only on the corruption and incompetence of the Republicans, but -- God help us -- many of our new officeholders also actually want to see this great free-enterprise democracy work for all Americans. No wonder the orthodoxies on the left and the right are convulsing.

Human Events Online, another conservative publication, attacks my sincerity and conviction with the bizarre notion that because -- as it says -- I can "afford a bottle of Cristal or Dom Perignon" that my concern for the middle class is really nothing more than crocodile tears. Human Events didn't quite get the fact that as flawed as I am, as many mistakes as I've made in my life, the one thing I haven't done is forget that I was born poor, both parents working, and I've never forgotten those who have made my opportunities in this country possible.

Also disturbed by the perturbation in their political universe and liberal orthodoxy, Newsweek columnists Fareed Zakaria and Jonathan Alter attacked my positions on illegal immigration (I'm against it) and border security (I'm for it).

Zakaria refers to "CNN's Lou Dobbs and his angry band of xenophobes" and Jonathan Alter describes those who agree with me as "nativist Lou Dobbsians." But Alter and Zakaria are far too bright to not know better. I've never once called for a restriction on legal immigration -- in fact, I've called for an increase, if it can be demonstrated that as a matter of public policy the nation requires more than the one million people we bring into this country legally each year.

And what does it mean to be a nativist in the United States in the 21st century when ours is the most ethnically and racially diverse society on the face of the earth? Both Alter and Zakaria are smart enough to know the answer to that question, and they know better than to write such drivel. Neither Zakaria or Alter can substantiate their disappointing attempts at labels with a single thing I've ever said or written. I say what I mean and I mean what I say.

What we all need to be about now is honesty and forthrightness. And the truth is, our political, business and media elites have abandoned the cornerstone of this great nation: equality of rights, equality of economic opportunity and equality of educational opportunity.

And, yes, I'm an ardent and fervent believer in the first three words of that radical populist document, which begins with the words "We the People."

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of the writer.

12 November 2006

Consumerism and the Insanity of Costco

I have decided that I hate Costco.

This weekend we went to Costco to see what they had in terms of LCD projectors (we're replacing our TV since it takes up too much space). Places like Costco have good electronics because they're purchased from the same manufacturers as the name brands. So it's the same TV or Projector as you'd find at Best Buy, but at half the cost.

It was my third time in Costco since SecretRudy converted John about 2 months ago. Now, to give you some perspective, I get annoyed and antsy in Target on a busy day. I don't like crowds of people, especially in close quarters and with unattended children running wild. The toy aisle at Target is my version of hell.

Now...Imagine me in Costco. (If you've never been to Costco, it's definitely an experience. Imagine Target the week of Christmas - that's an average Costco day). I start to get stressed in the parking lot. People going every which way, blocking the aisles, darting between carts. It's like driving in Boston.

Strike One: nothing is marked and there's no store directory or anything. This warehouse is gigantic and I hate shopping. I'm the type of person that goes to a store, gets what I need, and leaves. I don't want to go up and down each aisle, especially not when the store is the size of freakin O'hare airport (OK, I'm exaggerating a smidge there). No aisle markers to say that TVs are here, 8lb cans of chocolate pudding are there. So how do you find anything? Well your only choices are - walk through the entire store or ask someone, which leads me to...

Strike Two: No one that works there knows where anything is. The only people who are actually in the store working are at the checkout zoo and doing free samples of shit in various places. If you can find someone to ask, they usually say something like "I think it's over by the...". "Great! Where's that Magellan?"

Strike Three: The checkout area is something like a horror film. You know - Zombies in the shopping mall kind of thing. I feel like the only unzombified person in a sea of zombies making their way back to their cars. It's like a warzone. And because it's a cost saving warehouse, they don't have bags, so you have to bring your own. Now, I'm not opposed to that - John and I re-use our shopping bags at the grocery store all the time. But if we needed one more or if we forgot them, we can always get another one for 30 cents or something. Not at Costco. If you forgot your bag - sorry charlie.


To top it all off, the projetor they had on their website - they don't carry cin the store. Nice of them to say that on the website, it would have saved me a trip to HELL and back. I decided after nearing my breaking point (before I went to the harware section to get a chainsaw and cut my way through the crowds to get out) that there was NOTHING I needed in this world that was worth spending time in that hell hole. So we left. I don't think I ever want to go back. I don't mind paying a little extra for something if it means I don't blow my stack and fight the rest of humanity to get it - just to save $10. It's just not worth it to me. That, and I feel dirty in there. There's just something not right about being able to buy depilitory cream, motor oil, and pork chops all in the same place.

Now, I know Costco is good for some people. If you have a large family or you run a business or you're throwing a party - then you need the package of 35 frozen chicken breasts. For me? I have no use. So I can safely say I've tried it, and I never need to go back.

End rant.

On a happier note: I am so proud of my Congressman, Rahm Emmanuel. I think he did a great job gathering the troops for this election. I am proud to live in his district.

10 November 2006

Resurrection

Guess who's back?

08 November 2006

Chew on this...

Nancy Pelosi is closer in line to the Presidency of the United States than any woman in history. Not that I particularly want Nancy as president, that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is what kind of liberal democracy do we live in where we've existed for 230 years, start wars under the pretense of freeing oppressed women, but we, ourselves, only for the first time have a woman who is finally third in the line of succession.

How sad is that?

All we need is two good snipers now... ;p

Oops, gotta go. FBI is here to question me...

Bye-Bye Santorum!

Thanks for all the memories and the urban slang!

It seems your constituents don't agree that homosexuality and beastiality are the same thing, eh? Go crawl back under your rock.

At least the House swung back towards rationality. I realize that the votes were more against the current GOP leadership than for the Democratic candidates in most cases, but who cares. At least there will be some balance of power and some oversight and Bush no longer has a blank check to do whatever the fuck he wants.

We shall wait and see about the Senate...

In local news, Blagojevich our incumbent governor defeated the challenger Judy BarfoStinka. Not that I'm a huge fan of Blago, he's screwed a lot of stuff up including educational funding and state employee pensions. However, he also inherited a lot of problems from the previous administration.

By the way... Borat? Funniest movie I've seen in a long time. If you don't like rude, crude, offensive movies, don't see it. Let's just say this Sacha Cohen is either fearless, insane, or both. It's amazing what people will say when they think they're in the presence of a fellow bigot...

The Sun-Times movie review had this to say after giving Borat 4 (yes 4) stars:
"I think it is, as everybody has been saying, the funniest movie in years. And not because it is dumb (although it's very dumb), but because it is smart (and it is very smart). The full title is "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan." Every single word in that title (including "for" and both "of's") is, in its context, really funny. If you have to ask why, then you probably won't understand why "Borat" is funny, either. But that doesn't seem likely."
Borat travels across the country to find his true love, Pamela Anderson (who he saw on the TV in the hotel room). Along the way, he and his fat producer go to a rodeo, ask Atlanta gangbangers how to dress, buy a bear to protect them from the Jews, and learn how to use a flush toilet at a fancy dinner party... It's truly terrifying to watch because you have no idea what is coming next.

07 November 2006

Bitchzilla Da Jour and Fisher Price Ballots

I had a less than pleasant voting experience this morning. I was able to vote just fine, the place was rather empty. Everything was fine, until Bitchzilla (our neighbor who was in front of me in line) started raising a stink about the lighting in the room.

We're standing in line - she's two or three in front of me and didn't see me, thank god - and she said something like "you need to turn on the rest of the lights." The judges explained that security wasn't in the building yet so they couldn't. Now, it was far from dark in there. There were lights. And it's not like we really needed good lighting to vote, because apparently our precinct has switched to Gigimoungous Fisher Price™ ballots printed on 11 x 17 coverstock-weight paper with large print.

Check this thing out - it's HUGE!


Maybe it's because we have a large elderly population in our district, I'm not sure. And there were no tiny holes to punch. The names were printed with the head and tail of an arrow to the right of them, with a blank between. All we had to do was take the marker and draw a line that completed the arrow. It seriously felt like Kindergarten. Add to that, that the voting booths themselves had lights in them.

None of this seemed to matter to Bitchzilla. After she completed her ballot, I could overhear her, all the way across the room, bitching about the lights (she's voted now, so it really doesn't matter). Something about how it impinges on our electoral rights or something. Then she asked the head judge for her name and was going to file a complaint. I was in the middle of voting, but I seriously wanted to turn around and yell "could you please SHUT UP"! But I didn't. I just laughed to myself and re-affirmed my opinion that she is really just a miserable excuse for a human being who just has to inflict her opinion on everyone around her.

So I will be watching the polls closely via CNN.com and the Chicago Tribune today. Trying to get some work done today. I will likely fail.

06 November 2006

Apprehension

First of all, it was a busy weekend, so I haven't thought much about tomorrow's impending doom.

We had a friend in from out of town that stayed with us for a night. We took him to the Brew & View to see Taledega Nights and Snakes on a Plane. Now, for those of you who liked Anchorman and the 40-Year Old Virgin, Taledega nights is right up your alley. I really had no desire to see Snakes on a Plane. It just looked totally stupid. However, that said, the Brew & View is really the place to see stupid movies like that. They save the dumb movie for second, because by that time, everyone has already been drinking for 2 hours. Let's put it this way - you don't want to see any movie that you really need to pay attention to at the Brew & View. People yell stuff out, make fun, etc. It's like Rocky Horror on crack - but with no supersoakers.

Saturday, we picked up SecretRudy on our way to drop G back at O'hare, because we were going to make a quick trip to Ikea (insert ominous music). All I wanted was a specific lightbulb for our 3-D, panoramic, light-up DaVinci Last Supper that serves as the night light in our downstairs bathroom. We left O'hare at 11am, we got home at 5pm. Enough said.

Now I'm starting to get burned out with school - as always happens right about now. It's getting dark and cold. I have zero motivation and I have to drag my ass in gear.

Add to that that I refuse to be optimisitic about tomorrow - but at the same time, I can't help but be optimistic. Will rationality win tomorrow? Or will the crazies keep their power and continue to fuck us sideways for another 2 years?

02 November 2006

Sweet!!

Who ever thought being a complete lush could have health benefits?

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Huge amounts of a red wine extract seemed to help obese mice eat a high-fat diet and still live a long and healthy life, suggests a new study that some experts are calling "landmark" research.

The big question is, can it work the same magic in humans?

Scientists say it's far too early to start swilling barrels of red wine. But they are calling the latest research promising and even "spectacular."

The study by the Harvard Medical School and the National Institute of Aging shows that heavy doses of red wine extract lowers the rate of diabetes, liver problems and other fat-related ill effects in obese mice.

I beg to differ! It's never too early to start swilling barrels of red wine!

Even so, I think it's time I start taking the stairs at work...

01 November 2006

More pictures

For those who have not visited the CilliC Braindump or the Queen of the Universe already, there are some pictures there. The Queen I think will re-post the one she had, once she removes John. See, he can't have his secret identity exposed lest the world knows he's really Valerie Plame...