Blackhawks mania

I have always enjoyed hockey more than any other sport. I don't like watching sports on TV, but I love going to hockey games.

Needless to say, Chicago has been overrun with Blackhawks mania. I'm happy for the team, it's cool and fun. But it has gone too far.

The city has this habit of doing little things in public spaces to celebrate various things - like dyeing rivers and fountains green for St. Pat's day, or something.

This is the fountain in Daley Plaza:



Can someone tell me WHO thought this was a good idea? Pretty soon Daley Plaza will be overrun with crazy "Left Behind" rapture fanatics keeping watch for the plague of locusts.

Machismo

I knew, when moving to Albany Park, that it would be a different feel and, in general, I do like the neighborhood. I do, however, have one major complaint.

What is it with Hispanic men that makes them think it's OK to catcall, leer, and harass women? Where do they learn that this is OK? I don't want to generalize, but seriously, since the weather has gotten nice, this has happened to me on at least a weekly basis.

Let me clarify too - I don't mean a friendly hello, good morning, whatever - there's also plenty of that in the neighborhood too and the majority of people are friendly. That's civilized behavior. That's how you interact with human beings. Leering, making lewd comments, and catcalling is how you interact with someone you have learned is subhuman.

It could also be a class issue as well. Generally speaking, a lot lower and working-class men have NO CLUE how to appropriately interact with women. This is why construction sites are rife with harassment of women who walk by. But every single incident I have encountered in the past few weeks has been a Hispanic man. There's plenty of white and black men in the neighborhood, and they don't do this. Something is severely wrong with a culture that teaches men this is appropriate behavior.

So how do I deal with this? It depends on the severity. I have yet to feel physically threatened by any of them, since they're all at a reasonable distance. If I ignore it, I feel like it give them power and encouragement. On the other hand, giving them attention is what they want, right? It's very difficult to figure out what to do. In some cases, if they're close enough, I've point blank asked them "Do you really think women like it when you talk to them this way?" and that catches them off guard. One guy I told to go "eat a dick" and that seemed to work too. Giving the finger, or saying 'fuck off' sometimes works too. Though many of them make me wish I knew martial arts and could just body slam them to the pavement until they said "sorry" with a mouthful of asphalt.

Ah well, I can dream...

Hotlanta

Some observations from my conference trip to Atlanta:

I went to the annual conference for my professional association this past week in Atlanta. In general, I like going to this conference. The sessions include all kinds of topics on higher education research (my field) and range from best practices regarding assessment of student learning to how to predicting which students are likely to persist to degree completion, to how to use results from various national student surveys, and how changes in state/federal regulations affect institutions, etc. It's an international conference too - so our 'keynote' address was actually four speakers - two from the US, one from Canada and one from Europe's Eurostat to talk about the problems of researching education in a global world where we collect different information in different ways. I know, probably sounds like a snoozer to all of you, but I found it interesting.

I get to catch up with people I know from all over the place - some of whom I meet at these conferences, some of whom used to work in Illinois and moved elsewhere. It's usually a pretty good time.

Outside the conference, I spent some time in the hotel pool and taking a walk to Atlanta's Centennial Olympic Park and the conference arranged for a block of tickets to the Atlanta Braves game. I normally don't go to the baseball outing at the conference, but it was the CUBS, so I had to. Not that I really follow baseball really, but it was fun. Of course, the Cubs blew what could have been a shut-out game. The highlight of the game though, was that there were as many Cubs fans in the stands as Braves fans - and at one point a two-run homer by the Braves was thrown BACK on the field by Cubs fans... we laughed SO hard.

Another observation from the baseball game: What the fuck is it with singing "God Bless America" at the 7th Inning Stretch?????? I know it's the South, but come ON people. You must insert politics into what is supposed to be a fun time?? I don't even know the words to God Bless America, and frankly, don't care to. I don't think any God takes sides regarding man-made nation-states. Fuck that noise.

I'll post some pictures later.

What a fuckstick

I've never been a fan of Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. OK, I won't say never, but I'd say after his second year when he started screwing things up, that's when I decided I didn't like him. The GOP in Illinois is so tainted and weak that they've not been able to put up a challenger candidate and let's face it, this is Illinois - no challenger democrat will unseat the incumbent. So we've been stuck with him for many years and he's overstayed his welcome. Finally, we might get the chance to get rid of him.

I don't know what is worst about the situation... I will forgo the obligatory use of "allegedly" since, after all, it's all on fucking wire tapped conversations.

1. He tried to extort money from the executive of Children's Memorial Hospital in the form of campaign contributions by threatening to rescind state funding for the hospital.
2. He tried to effectively sell Obama's vacant senate seat to the highest bidder, knowing he had the sole appointment power.
3. He tried to force the Chicago Tribune to fire editorial board members who called for his impeachment in exchange for state assistance for the Tribune company.
4. He still maintains he did nothing wrong and his lawyer calls this "just politics".
5. He legally maintains the sole right to appoint Obama's replacement, which means Illinois is in legal and legislative limbo right now. Anyone Blago appoints could be tainted, and it's still unclear whether a special session of the General Assembly could wrest that appointment power from him.
6. Even though US Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald said that at no point is Barack Obama implicated in any of this (and actually in one conversation Blagojevich called Obama a "motherfucker" for not wanting to give him "anything but appreciation" for his appointment of a replacement), the anti-Obama consipiracy theorists will still try to make this an "Obama scandal". It can't not taint Obama in some way, even if he was not involved, because of the 'guilt by association' issues of him being from Chicago.
   

If convicted, he will be the fourth of the last eight IL governors who have been convicted of crimes committed either while in office or after leaving office. Welcome to Chicago

OMFG

This is hilarious.... When candy design goes hilariously wrong...

You can order them here

what the...

Donna showed this to me, and I had to share...

I ask you, my devoted readers, what. the. fuck??

What was Burger King Thinking?

Take a look and tell me what you think.

The first thing that struck me, other than the utter ridiculousness, was how this simply reinforces our societal fear of sex and sexuality as something "bad." Not that I'm saying I want sexuality expressed in my double Whopper with cheese...

In tribute to George

There's a term I've heard tossed around on news and political programs lately that is, frankly, annoying the fuck out of me. It's a term that I'm sure George Carlin had a few chuckles over before he died.

Low-Information Voter

Has anyone else noticed this? We really need a euphemism for lazy, willfully-ignorant, or just plain fuckin stupid people?

In the context in which I've heard it, it is used to describe those people who rely on 20-second sound bites, headlines, direct mail propoganda, talking heads, or Gods forbid, internet/email rumors to decide who to vote for. We really need a polite term for the people who re-elected George W. Bush? We really need a polite term for the fucktards who think Obama was a) born in Kenya, b) a covert Muslim, c) a radical Black Panther? Or people who believed in 2000 that John McCain had an illegitimate Black baby? Or people who think that all politicians are crooked and so who cares if we elect John McCain or Obama because it'll make no difference.

I have a euphemism for these people: Fucking idiots. How about that?

As I said in a recent post... put a little effort into learning about your candidates... they're only the people making decisions about your life... It's not like it's important or anything.

Honestly... we don't need a polite term for these people. Call a spade a spade. I'm calling out all those pundits and talking heads to stop insulting the people who actually pay attention to elections by sugar coating reality for the people who don't. And besides... it's not like any Low-Information Voter would recognize him/herself for what s/he is anyway. So call them "lazy ignoramuses," they won't know you're talking about them anyway.

Coming soon... "Single-issue voter" People who are too selfish or short sighted to see the bigger picture...

They warned us...

The religious whackjobs warned us that gay marriage was a slippery slope to damnation....

"Every society in the history of man has upheld the institution of marriage as a bond between a man and a woman. Why? Because society is based on one thing: That society is based on the future of the society. And that's what? Children. Monogamous relationships. In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever, to my knowledge, included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog or whatever the case may be. ..." former senator Rick Santorum, 2003

Well, it appears they were right after all. Just look what gay marriage has led to.

There's something weird goin on in Turkey

According to my Google Analytics, I've had 100 hits from Turkey over the course of the last month. So I look at the keywords:

pandaporno - 93
pandaporno movies - 2
panda-porno - 1
pandaporno movie - 1
pandaporno. - 1
elf pussy - 1
how i became lesbian - 1

I feel sorry for all the Turkish panda beastiophiles who wound up with this from their search.

There MUST be something better to do people... really?

The irony is, of course, now I'll get even MORE hits off pandaporno...

pandaporno, pandaporno, pandaporno, pandaporno, pandaporno, pandaporno, pandaporno, pandaporno, pandaporno, pandaporno, pandaporno, pandaporno,pandaporno, pandaporno, pandaporno, pandaporno, pandaporno, pandaporno.... there.

Wouldn't it be funny if pandaporno was a Turkish word for something totally ordinary, like, boot-cut jeans?

WTF?

These were taken yesterday...

First day of Spring my ass. It started about 7am, and didn't stop until about 8pm.




I woke up to find an additional 3-4 inches fell over night.

The Jones Soda Experiment

The Great Jones Soda 2007 Holiday Gift Pack Experiment for your viewing pleasure.
Starring: Donna, Laura and Annie.
Better late than never, I guess.

The videos will play one after the other once you hit play.
The whole set of 17 videos is around 20 min long, so have fun...

Just a reminder of what these included:
Christmas: Sugar Plum, Egg Nog, Christmas Tree, and Christmas Ham
Chanukah: Chocolate Coins, Jelly Donut, Apple Sauce, and Latke

I've often wondered this myself....

I reiterate Richard Roeper's question: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?

I can barely tolerate Christmas music for the 48 hours I am subjected to it during family gatherings. I do my Christmas shopping online now to avoid not only the crowds and screaming brats in the toy section, but also the blaring music stores play from now until New Year's. I seriously want to know how store clerks can stand that and NOT end up taking it out on their spouse/significant other/pet.

======================================
Would you celebrate July 4 in May?
No? So why do you listen to Christmas songs in Nov.?

November 6, 2007
BY RICHARD ROEPER Sun-Times Columnist

Couldn't help it. Out of curiosity, I tuned to WLIT-FM (93.9) Monday. "O Tannenbaum" by Vince Guaraldi.

Ack. Why don't you just Tase me, bro?

Of course I immediately hit the tuner button and vowed to stay away from the Lite until at least Dec. 10. The only thing as abhorrently anachronistic as decorations that go up too early or stay up too late is the playing of holiday music when we're still putting away the Halloween decorations and we haven't solidified our Thanksgiving plans.

But that's just me -- and probably you. The evidence says the reason stations go early with the X-mas tunage is simple: The numbers go up.

What I want to know is: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE? Seriously.

Take a look at this partial playlist of songs heard on the Lite on Monday:

"Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" by Ronnie Spector and Darlene Love

"It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas" -- Johnny Mathis

"Silent Night" -- Josh Groban

"Jingle Bell Rock" -- Hall & Oates

"White Christmas" -- Bing Crosby

"O Holy Night" -- Celine Dion

"The Christmas Song" -- Nat King Cole

"Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!" -- Harry Connick Jr.

All I can say is, Make It Stop! Make It Stop! Make It Stop!

I'm no Scrooge. I'd be happy to hear those tunes IN DECEMBER. Listening to them now would be like driving to U.S. Cellular Field in the hopes of seeing a baseball game. Wrong. Season.

So who IS listening to Christmas tunes in early November? If your sig-other started decking the halls with "Jingle Bells" and "Feliz Navidad," would you file for a legal separation? Do you work in an office where they're playing the holiday tunes? Is that grounds for a grievance?

As I write this, a lot of people are listening to "Silver Bells" by Anne Murray.

I want to know who they are, and also, why. Why??????

Execujudicilative Branch

In light of yesterday's commutation of Libby's sentence by King George II I was reminded only of one quote from the movie Amistad where John Quincy Adams is arguing before the Supreme Court about the fate of a few dozen slaves:

"These are transcriptions of letters written between our Secretary of State, John Forsythe, and the Queen of Spain, Isabella II. And I ask that you accept their perusal as part of your deliberations.

... I would not touch on them now except to notice a phrase which is much repeated. The Queen again and again refers to our incompetent courts. And what I wonder would be more to her liking, huh? A court that finds against the Africans, I think not. And here’s the fine point of it…what her majesty wants is a court that behaves just like her court. The courts this eleven-year-old child plays with in her magical kingdom called Spain. A court that will do what it is told a court that can be toyed with like a doll. A court, as it happens, of which our own president Martin Van Buren would be most proud."


Editor's note: Before you start typing - yes, I know it's totally different circumstances, and that it's the President's right to commute sentences and pardon people he feels have been treated unfairly. However, added with all the other abuses of power this administration has committed, and the relatively few pardons and commutations granted by Bush in comparison to every other president in the past 100 years, this simply looks to me like Bush taking care of another one of his cronies. I'm personally waiting for Libby to get a medal pinned on him for being a good lapdog.

Today's "What the Fuck" moment as brought to you once again by Donna

Thank Christ... it's a parody. phew.

Crack for data nerds

A friend of mine recently turned me on to Google Analytics. He thought I'd love it because I love playing with data - it's what I do - and because it's fun stuff. My love/hate relationship with Google has grown more complex now. I hate the fact that they own the world and that they keep track of what I'm searching for... but now those two facts add to my entertainment and talent for procrastination.

Ironic? Maybe.

Fun? It's more addictive than crack. Seriously folks, it's fascinating to me.

It's fun to know who comes to visit your blog for one - it's a sort of voyeurism I guess. I think if they offered information about what the person was doing while reading your site, I'd take it (full leather studded gimp suit while eating a bologna sandwich at 3am in grandma's basement).

I never would have guessed that I'd get visitors from across the world. I mean, obviously I know a few people across the pond and blogger is now fully indexed by Google, but Pakistan? Poland? Yemen? Sure, I suppose some of the topics I write about would probably pique the interests of people in various countries I guess, but I just never really thought my brainfarts would travel that far.

I added Analytics to my blog the first week of May, and so far I have had 1,643 (duplicated) visits came from 71 countries, about 1,000 of those are from the US, as is to be expected since that's where most of you faithful readers reside. It will even allow you to drill down to cities in some places. Like, for instance, I know St. Louis and Chicago are my big hit points in the US (gee, I wonder why?).

Countries with over 50 hits are US, UK, and Canada. Countries with 10-49 hits are Germany, India, Australia, France, Netherlands, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Poland, Italy, Singapore, Malaysia.

Then there's more infrequent visits from Pakistan, Belgium, Sweden, Turkey, United Arab Emirates, Spain, Romania, South Africa, Brazil, Hungary, Indonesia, Switzerland, Mexico, Ireland, Norway, Denmark, Sri Lanka, Hong Kong SAR China, Lithuania, Japan, Finland, Portugal, New Zealand, China, Croatia, El Salvador, Jamaica, Russia, Venezuela, Bulgaria, Kuwait, Guam, Thailand, Taiwan, South Korea, Peru, Iraq, Philippines, Slovakia, Nigeria, Latvia, Puerto Rico, Greece, Cyprus, Chile, Morocco, Oman, Sudan, Czech Republic, Azerbaijan, Estonia, Austria, Argentina, Algeria, Bahrain, Libya, Jordan.

Now, of course, I have no idea what these folks are reading - if anything. They could have found me by accident, said "wow, this is full of shit" and navigated back away. But it's interesting to me that many of these countries have restrictions on free speech and expression. It kinda makes me feel like I should be writing about more important things more often.

I mean, I know this is an open site. It's public, out on the WWW. But sometimes you don't realize that there's actually people out there reading what you write.... it's interesting.

Keywords are the most fun. You can see the crazy shit people search for that leads to your blog. Some of the keywords that have apparently led people to my blog are categorized below into "Ordinary," "Amusing," and "What the...?"

Ordinary:
poststructural feminism
arab girl
chicago cicadas
tattoo and subculture and evangelical

Amusing:
Pientology
"hair fairy" gay 1960s
tampons-party
woman pointed chest
febreze deodorant as a deer repellent

What the ...?
seated forced enema kit
hairiest vagina in the world
night elf pussy
barking dog ex-lax sausage

I tried seeing the country/city where "Barking dog ex-lax sausage" came from, but Google gave me an error. I guess it will remain a mystery.

Today's "What the Fuck" moment, brought to you by Donna

I'm speechless, really I am.

Lord of the Flies is NOT a good reality TV plot. We don't have enough terrible crap to watch on television these days we have to manufacture misery?