Profile of a Yes Man

So a former colleague of mine asked me "When you gonna do another post on Toady?"

So here you go Joe.

As I said in the previous post about this guy, if anything happened before I got in the office, I'd usually have either an email in my inbox with the subject "OMIGOD!" or Joe leaning over in his chair going "pppsssstt!!!" and waving me into his office.

One morning, I got in around my usual time (7:45 or 8), others got in the office earlier because that was the only time to get any work done, given the disruptivness of several other staff members that our director didn't have the balls to discipline correctly - but that's another story.

Our office was still in the old building at this time and there were two different sets of elevators you could take. The "secret" set only stopped at certain floors and only had a bridge between the two buildings at two floors, so they were a little slower but less crowded. These elevators were hidden down a narrow hallway as you entered the building from the street. There was a desk to the right and a huge, rounded stone wall on the left. It's pretty hard to miss the wall. Unless of course, you're a doofis.

So the story goes like this. Joe gets in at the crack of dawn, like normal, and a little later, in comes Toady (a large, large man) being held up by a tiny security guard about half his size. It turns out that on the way to work, Toady twisted his ankle slightly on the sidewalk (something he would later use as an excuse to not help pack or unpack a goddamn thing when our office moved). He gets into the building, I guess slightly off balance (?) and speedwalks right into the stone wall - ker-smack! See, when he got upset about stuff, he would get agitated and lose focus and gain intensity - so he probably practically ran into the wall.

The tiny 5 foot tall security guard helps him to the office, and tells Joe - "better keep an eye on him, he seems a little 'shocky' " as if he were some injured animal caught in the wild.

I guess it seems funnier at the time, but the picture of a grown man taking a header into a massive, polished stone wall and then needed to be "carried" by a tiny security lady is just absurd to me.

It still pisses me off to think about how a few days later his ankle was absolutely fine, but when it came time to pack stuff up for the move, he suddenly re-developed a slight limp.