Doggy Problems: Part Deux

So after talking more with my landlord, I feel better. HE is not concerned about this at all and agrees with me that the downstairs neighbor should have been more direct and vocal with her complaints. Apparently her verbal complaints were very passive and she never made it clear that it was *really* bothering her that much. Plus, she could have come to me. He said it doesn't bother him at all.

I will still be working with my trainer friend to get her to be calm(er) when she hears doorbells, knocking, and people in the hallway. Ironically, when I am home, she rarely makes a peep at people in the hallway. I also ordered a couple of puzzle toys for her. One is a "Busy Buddy"



A friend at work recommended it. You put food inside and as they roll it around, little bits fall out. It's less noisy than a Buster Cube (which is hard plastic). I also got her another KONG, so I can put treats, rawhide in that, freeze it, and let her have it when I'm gone. These will be "away" toys only - she only gets them when I'm not home. So that makes a positive association with being alone.

I also took the recommendation from the trainer to put the Kong in a paper bag - to give her more work to do. I tried that today and came home to find the paper bag untouched. So I don't know if she just didn't know what to do with it, or what. I'll give that another try tomorrow and leave the bag more open so she gets the idea.

I'm still annoyed that the downstairs neighbor was so passive-aggressive about this, but I can't do anything about that. So, I'll do what I can.

Doggy Problems

I am so pissed, I don't even know where to begin. Apparently my downstairs neighbor has been complaining to the landlord about Annie barking when I'm not at home. He handed me a written note from her to him that said

"Dog 3rd Floor barking:
I have tried to be very patient but the dog barks non-stop. Being on the second floor I am hearing it way too much. I have started thinking about moving out unless something changes with the dog"

I know this was sparked from an encounter yesterday when Annie barked at her in the hallway. She doesn't bark at any other tenants anymore (because she sees all of them all the time and knows them). I only see this woman once every few months. In fact, I think the last time I saw her was around Christmas.

This is the FIRST time I have heard anything like a complaint from anyone. Apparently she has said things verbally to him before, but he never told me. He said he'd tell her that dogs take time to adjust and to be patient. That's nice and all, but if someone had mentioned this to me, I could have addressed it! He said he doesn't think verbal complaints "count," but in my mind, they do because once someone has reached the point of a written complaint, they're already past a breaking point.

Plus she's a fucking adult, shouldn't she come talk to me instead of being a passive-aggressive bitch? Seriously. Knock on my door and say "Your dog is driving me nuts, can you please try to work on the barking?" Had she done that, she would have seen a very apologetic and understanding dog owner. Now, she's just pissed me off and proven to me that she's a child.

The thing that really bothers me about this is that I saw the landlord the other day and he, in passing, said that he hears her barking every day (he's said this before too), and I apologized and he said "No, it's OK, it's good" because it keeps people away. When he showed me the note one of the first things I asked him was why he lied to me last week about him being OK with the barking? It's obviously NOT ok if tenants are complaining.

Had she or he or ANYONE told me sooner, I would have tried to correct the behavior. Now the other tenant is at her wits end and I explained to the landlord (who knows, and likes dogs) that this will take time to correct and had I known sooner, I could have been working on it all along.

I told my landlord that I felt betrayed that he never once told me this could be a problem. How do I know how much she barks when I am not home unless someone tells me??

Now I don't know what to do. Annie's 8 years old and I can do training, but since it's a behavior that happens when I'm not home (and training this out of her requires to INDUCE her to bark and then correct it), I have no idea how long this will take to correct.

The landlord said he wanted to set up a meeting with the three of us to talk this over, and I said good. That will probably be the most I've ever spoken to this woman in the entire year that I have lived here. She's never around. She's, from what I can tell and what I have heard from other tenants, a passive-aggressive, antisocial bitch. The first thing I am going to ask her is why she didn't come talk to me sooner?

Classic Carlos

A friend found this in the WBEZ (Chicago Public Radio) Archives. Carlos was always a thorn in Mayor Daley's side and didn't pull any punches. I particularly like comment that a listener was "on crack" for defending Hizzoner around the 25 minute mark.

Eight Forty-Eight 8/26/2009

This pretty much sums it up



A cartoon that appeared in yesterday's Tribune. In a word: Perfect.

One last addition... Our friend DeLonde posted this today. He's a musician in Oregon who, sadly, couldn't make it to Chicago on short notice.

Don't wait...

This week, I lost a college friend to cancer. He was diagnosed last year, they estimated he had until March.

Halloween, 1995.
He was Elvis Costello that year.
This is how I'll always remember him.

Carlos made an impact on everyone he met. We were on the newspaper together at DePaul and I remember him as this frenetic, vivid character who could talk your ear off about politics, history, or The Beatles. Man, could he talk. He got so excited about some topics that he would talk so fast you couldn't understand what the hell he was saying anymore. He did everything with passion. He was full of life and humor.

Sadly we lost touch throughout the years, but I kept up on his whereabouts through mutual friends who still saw him. He started working as a political reporter for Chicago Public Radio and I remember the first time I heard his voice on the airwaves thinking, there's no way that's Carlos - he's talking WAY too slow and letting the other person get a word in! Given that his style of speech was so natural for so long, I know he must have worked very, very hard to slow himself down for radio. That itself, shows how much he cared about what he did.

His career took off, and I would see him on local news channels discussing Chicago politics and it was always just so surreal to watch. He covered city and state politics for many years and made an impression on everyone he met and every public official he interviewed. I was truly reminded of this when I saw this:

The White House
Office of the Press Secretary
For Immediate Release
January 18, 2010
Statement from the President on the Passing of Carlos Hernandez Gomez

“I was saddened to hear of the passing of Carlos Hernandez Gomez. Our paths first crossed when I was a State Senator. He was a throwback in the style of Chicago’s storied political reporters. He loved Chicago, and he relentlessly sought to tell its story with the commitment to truth and the insatiable curiosity that any good reporter has to have. I quickly learned that when you saw his sharp fedora in a crowd, hard questions were coming. But Carlos always played it straight. And I always enjoyed our interactions in Springfield, Chicago, or on the campaign trail. Carlos was a role model to many, and an integral part of the Chicago story he strived to tell. My thoughts and prayers are with his wife Randi and his family.”

As a mutual friend said last night while we were out getting a few beers to share the news and remember 'Los, "The President isn't gonna say shit when I die."

I just thought I would have more time to reconnect. One more time to hear him say "Hey Chica!"

If there's someone out there you wished you saw more often, or have been meaning to call or email, but just haven't found the time. Or maybe think it's just been so long that it will just be too awkward. Don't wait. You never know how much time you've got to do it.

The worst christmas tree, ever

I can't remember what year this was, but I was fairly young, so mid eighties, I would assume. My dad's cousin convinced him that we should go with him to this place he knew where you could cut your own christmas tree. It sounded like a cool idea, so we did.

Well, it took forever to find a tree that was the right size that also looked nice. They were all waaaaay too big, or looked half dead. Finally, we settled for this little 4 foot tree and my dad built a box to put it on so it didn't look as dinky as it was. At least it looked nice, even if it was short. We chopped it, brought it home, set it up on it's little Charlie Brown box and decorated it. Now, when my family does Christmas tree lights, they don't half-ass it. There's lights wrapped inside and out, around and through the branches. It takes a long time to do. All the ornaments were on, the lights were on, and the tree skirt covered the box quite nicely. All in all, it wasn't a bad little tree.

Then...

Someone noticed the tree seemed to be shedding. Trees do this, but these weren't needles. They were little specks of dirt or mud or something. They got swept up, and more appeared. Only this time - some of them were moving. Yes... tree ticks! Tons of them. Awakened from hibernation by the warmth of the living room. With all the decorations and lights already on the tree, there was NO way that was all getting un-done without wrecking the tree. Try finding scentless, indoor-safe bug spray in December. My dad finally found something and had to spray the tree - and then all the dead ticks started falling on the tree skirt (better than alive I suppose).

It was really quite disgusting, but now at least we can laugh at it.

Moral of the story - don't cut your own tree. Or, if you do, make sure it's been treated for wood ticks before you bring it home.

Happy Holidays

I think the older I get, the less into Christmas I am. The past few years, I've been kinda "meh" about the whole thing until a couple of days before and then I get a little bit of cheer. Then it goes away again and we're back to dark days, sucky weather, and blah. It doesn't really mean as much as an adult, I guess. Christmas, as it has been historically celebrated in the United States, was not originally about religion. I mean, yes, there was a religious impetus, but the high holy day of the Christian calendar is Easter, not Christmas, and most American Christians didn't do anything special to celebrate Christmas. Many protestants in the early colonies and United States actually refused to celebrate Christmas as a religious holiday because of it's links to revelry, partying, and merriment in England- thinking that it was inappropriate for a religious holiday to be so joyous and fun.

It actually only started being celebrated in the U.S. as a national holiday after early congress realized we had no national holidays to fill the calendar. It was originally celebrated as a time of gifts, family, food, and joy - NOT this super somber religious bullshit that Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck are trying to convince you has been "erased" in the "war on Christmas" in the U.S. If anything, the "war on Christmas" is the attempt to erase the fun and merriment from this time of year.

As for Happy Holidays - I don't have a problem with that. We are not, and never have been, a "Christian Nation." Read the constitution. There is no state religion. The fact that x% of citizens happen to affiliate with a particular religion does not mean the nation is defined, forever, by that fact. Religious affiliations can and do change - and as they do change, if you define a nation's religious orientation based on the % of citizens within a particular religion, then by definition, that nation's religious identity must be redefined as the citizenry changes. So we have a larger proportion of people who affiliate with different (or no) religion now than we did in the past. Therefore, as a pluralistic nation with a national identity that must be redefined as the population changes, Happy Holidays is the most appropriate option. It is inclusive to all citizens of this country.

If you don't like it, then maybe you should move to a Christian nation. Or just shut the hell up, eat some pie, drink some egg nog, relax and have fun.

Here's an incomplete list of winter festivals celebrated this time of year:

Bodhi Day: 8 December - Day of Enlightenment, celebrating the day that the historical Buddha (Shakyamuni or Siddhartha Guatama) experienced enlightenment (also known as Bodhi).

Winter Solstice: 21 December-22 December - midwinter. Celebrated in many cultures, by many names, including: Dong zhi, Yule, Inti Raymi, Modranect, Yalda, Saturnalia, Karachun.

Advent: four weeks prior to Christmas.
Saint Nicholas' Day: 6 December
Christmas: 25 December - Due to a fourth century arrangement to offset the pagan Roman Saturnalia festival, the birth of Jesus is celebrated on December 25.
12 Days of Christmas: 25 December through 6 January
Saint Stephen's Day: 26 December
Saint John the Evangelist's Day: 27 December
Holy Innocents' Day: 28 December
Saint Sylvester's Day: 31 December
Watch Night: 31 December
Feast of Fools: 1 January
Saint Basil's Day: 1 January (Christian Orthodox) In Greece, traditionally he is the Father Christmas figure.
Twelfth Night: Epiphany Eve: 5 January
Epiphany: 6 January: the arrival of the Three Magi.
Armenian Apostolic Christmas: 6 January
Eastern Orthodox Christmas: according to the Julian Calendar, 7 January


Diwali: Known as the Festival of Lights, this Hindu holiday celebrates the victory of good over evil. The five-day festival is marked by ceremonies, fireworks and sweets. Women dress up and decorate their hands with henna tattoos for the melas, or fairs. Many different myths are associated with Diwali, one of which celebrates the return of Lord Rama after a 14-year exile and his defeat of the demon Ravana.

Hanukkah: Starting on 25 Kislev (Hebrew) or various dates in November or December (Gregorian) - eight day festival commemorating the miracle of the oil after the desecration of the Temple by Antiochus IV Epiphanes and his defeat in 165 BCE.


Festival of the birth of the Unconquered Sun: late Roman Empire - 25 December

Kwanzaa: (26 December - 1 January) - Pan-African festival.

Oh, and for all you people who argue that Kwanzaa isn't a "real" holiday because it was invented in the 1960s - remember that ALL traditions were invented by people and at some point, were considered new. Just because some traditions are now so ingrained in our culture to seem like they've been there forever doesn't mean they weren't once considered strange or invalid by those who didn't understand them.

Happy Thanksgiving!

One of the funniest Thanksgiving television episodes ever.

Why did I think this was a good idea?

I attended the 50th anniversary of the Magnificent Mile Festival of Lights this past weekend. Basically, it's a little parade that goes down Michigan Avenue and as it passes each block, the lights and decorations on the streets light up for the season. It goes from the North end of the Mag Mile, past the Hancock tower, and down to the Chicago River, where there are fireworks after the parade. I don't know why I thought that this would be a good idea, given my aversion to crowds. I usually think of that AFTER I am stuck in a sea of people, unable to move. It was a lot more crowded than I expected.

I had never heard of this event before this year. Then again, I don't really pay much attention to parades, etc. I only heard of it after the former boy mentioned it in passing, because he lives not too far from the parade route and said it was kinda cute and fun.

Initially my friend and I wanted to be down by the river so we could see the fireworks, but that was the most crowded area of the entire event. We decided we'd rather see the floats, since we've seen fireworks. So we fought our way to an area that was decent. We were back from the street and didn't get to see as much of the floats as we would have liked. However, the floats were underwhelming. For a "Festival of Lights" we would have expected more... ya know... lights!

We ended up in a spot next to a funny and sarcastic guy and his family from Crystal Lake, three twenty something girls and two guys with them who you could tell were only there because they were hoping if they did whatever the girls wanted, they might get laid later, and some really bizarre, creepy guy who appeared either drunk, high, or both, who kept leaning over the ledge we were standing by/sitting on and looked like he was going to hurl at any moment. So there was CONSTANT entertainment.

I did get some cool Kinetic/Intentional Camera Movement shots though (other examples of that style of photography are on the shutterbug site).

After the crowds started to dissipate, we made our way back to the subway to go back to my neighborhood. It wasn't as crowded as I'd expect, but the first train that came was packed to the gills, so we decided to wait. We were rewarded for our patience, however, because the next train that came was Santa's Express! Yes, the CTA has a special Holiday Train (they call it the "Holiday Train" to be politically correct, but it is most obviously a "Christmas Train"). It's covered in lights and has a special open car for Santa and his reindeer. It rotates between different train lines from now until Christmas. I've only ever seen it go past, but I've never been on it. It is just as decked out inside as out. It was a totally random, awesome, and trippy experience. People cheered when it pulled up. So below are an assortment of pictures from the day:

Tribune Tower at Night:


Tribune Tower Kinetic Blur:


Here Comes Mickey!


Intentional Camera Movement/Kinetic Photography


Santa's Express Arrives

Analytics Update

I haven't checked Google Analytics for a while but I always find it fun and interesting.

The top 25 searches that led people to this site:

Rank	Key Words	Count
1	michael bay sucks	512
2	sarchasm	365
3	worthy causes	162
4	chicago flag tattoos	147
5	hairiest woman alive	129
6	chicago flag tattoo	114
7	poststructural feminism	109
8	why michael bay sucks	103
9	dc flag tattoo	72
10	the sarchasm	70
11	post structural feminism	68
12	radical feminist theory	64
13	poststructuralist feminism	63
14	what the fuck ever	53
15	post structuralist feminism	43
16	post-structural feminism	40
17	woman's work manifesto	39
18	passive indifference	34
19	radical feminism theory	34
20	structural feminism	34
21	god is a sadist	33
22	korphe pakistan	27
23	examples of liberal feminism	21
24	list of worthy causes	21
25	austin powers underwear	19

Countries represented over the past 6 months:

United States
United Kingdom
Canada
Australia
India
Brazil
Germany
Ireland
New Zealand
France
South Africa
Singapore
Philippines
Norway
Japan
Malaysia
Pakistan
Netherlands
Egypt
Israel
Belgium
Puerto Rico
Argentina
Indonesia
Sweden
Austria
Iran

Gossip

I don't normally post about work, for obvious reasons. However, I can't help sharing this story and getting feedback from you all about this situation. It's vague enough to where it's safe to post about and, frankly, I don't care if someone at work finds this post - in fact, I kinda hope they DO.

I hate gossip. I mean, really hate it. It's offensive, petty, childish, rude, and in my opinion, only serves as a tool for miserable people to make their pitiful lives seem better than they actually are by dragging others down. In a way, that makes it a little like watching Jerry Springer.

Now, there's office politics talk - trying to figure out what might happen to a particular division, what plans are for the future, etc. That's different because that has a purpose in the workplace. I'm talking about personal gossip.

Now, I try to separate personal feelings from professional duties. I don't have to like everyone I work with, but I have to be able to work with them. Hell, on a personal level, especially after this incident (piled on top of other examples) I can say I genuinely dislike my boss. He's OK to work with, but as a person, I would never choose to associate with him outside of work. Also, even if I don't particularly like someone, I can't let that get in the way of getting something done for them. Case in point - last week, I'm in my office and my boss comes in and we start talking about a project we're working on. The subject of a particular person comes up, who is - admittedly - difficult to work with sometimes.

We begin talking about this person's apparent inability (or lack of desire?) to understand some key differences in definitions and not wanting to admit that there's some problems in his area of oversight because of it. THEN, in a tone of voice (he had a big smug smile on his face) that was meant to say "hey, get a load of this, this will make you laugh," my boss tells me that this person is separated from his wife as of recently. I just stare in disbelief. Am I supposed to get some kind of pleasure out of misery in this person's personal life??

Me (angrily): "So? What does that have to do with ANYTHING? That's none of my business. Why do people care about this kind of thing??"

Keep in mind, this is NOT the first time he has participated in this type of gossip. Each time, I shoot him down or ignore it. I'm above that kind of petty bullshit.

Him: "I don't care"

Me (even more angrily): "Well, obviously you DO if you're repeating it."

Him: blank stare, grunt, walk away.

I really wish I would have laid into him more about it. Ask him what kinds of things he says about ME behind my back? Did he make fun of MY divorce to others? Do you really think it's OK to talk about people's personal lives like that? Does that make your own pathetic, miserable existence seem better?

Ugh. It really pissed me off. I will never stoop to that level, however, from now on, I WILL be telling those people who I DO like and respect at work never, ever to tell this guy anything remotely personal about anyone.

I mean, how can I be expected to have any professional respect for someone like that?

Three Cups of Tea:One Man's Mission to Promote Peace One School at a Time

This is a review I posted online just over a year ago and I want to post it again because, this past Friday night, I got the chance to listen to Greg Mortenson speak, watch him get an honorary doctorate from Loyola University, and a chance to meet him at his book signing reception. I just think the story of this extraordinary man needs to be heard by everyone. To date, he has built over 130 schools, especially ones that serve girls, in Northern Pakistan and Eastern Afghanistan - including places that are Taliban strongholds. The only way to stop extremism is through education.

As one proverb puts it, in reference to education in societies that are based on communal values and where women are the ones responsible for caring for family: "Educate a boy, and you educate an individual. Educate a girl, and you educate a community."

This book is now required reading for military leadership in Afghanistan, teaching the value of building relationships and listening to the people we're trying to help.

Anyone interested in promoting peace, social justice, and women's rights should get this book.

I should also add that there is now a Young Reader's version of the book - this is important because at the beginning of his search for funding, the single largest donation Mortenson received was $600 from school children who collected pennies. So now parents and kids can read the story together.




The title of the book is a reference to the customary way of doing business in Pakistan, Afghanistan, and other parts of Central Asia:

For the first cup of tea, you are a stranger. By the second cup, you are a friend. By the third cup, you are family. It is a testament to the patience and understanding it takes to forge the kind of long-lasting ties to work in this region of the world.


By far, one of the most inspiring books I've ever read. Greg Mortenson single handedly started an initiative to bring education to rural Pakistan. I wish I had gotten a chance to read this before finishing my thesis - because this story is more directly related to my work than any other book or journal article I used.

Through persistence and a little luck, he made the right connections in Pakistan (and eventually Afghanistan) and in the U.S. with donors. This book recounts his efforts from their inception in 1996 after getting lost in the Himalaya through 9/11 and up to 2003 when the war in Iraq diverted promised American resources from Afghanistan (again). His work survived a kidnapping in Waziristan, several fatwas (that were eventually overturned by the highest mufti in Iran), and death threats (most of which came from his fellow Americans after 9/11 in the form of "how dare you help Muslims").

After getting separated from his guide leading him off the Baltoro glacier in Northern Pakistan after a failed attempt to scale K2, Mortenson found himself in a little village called Korphe in Baltistan, Pakistan. The first Westerner ever to stumble into Korphe intrigued the people. After being nursed back to health and served what little food the people had to offer, he witnessed children in Korphe studying outside, with no teacher and no school, scratching lessons in the dirt. He promised the village elder Haji Ali that he would build them a school, went back to the US, began writing letters and grants while living out of his car. After sending 580 letters, a single $100 check from Tom Brokaw, and $600 in pennies raised by elementary school children was the net result.

Then, fellow Mountaineer, physicist and silicon-valley pioneer turned philanthropist Jean Hoerni agreed to donate $12,000 for the school. Mortenson sold everything he owned, and returned to Pakistan, forged business ties and purchased supplies only to discover that the village did not yet want a school - but a bridge. Korphe was inaccessible except for a single hand-pulled makeshift lift cart that spanned the Braldu river. There was no way to get supplies into Korphe. Rather than storming off like many impatient Americans would, Mortenson entered a partnership with the people of Korphe - valuing their opinions, customs, and assessments of their own needs rather than dismissing them as primitive or assuming that an American knows what's best for them.

As Mortenson has said, it took 3 years and a lot of mistakes, but the Korphe school was finally built and has sent many of Korphe's children on to local towns for further education - including many girls.

It's a stunning account of an extraordinary man, who through his humility and respect for the people of the region, worked with them, heeding their input and their cultural norms, was able to do what no other humanitarian organization could -- build schools focusing on girls' education and bring long-lasting, meaningful change to one of the world's poorest and most unstable regions of the world where outsiders are usually regarded with cautious suspicion.

With Jean Hoerni's help once again, Mortenson founded the Central Asia Institute (see link to the left) and has built over 60 schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan since 1996 and has provided countless services and monetary support for education in these regions.

He is fighting the war on terror with the only effective ammunition - education. Give people education, and you give them the means to take control of their own lives. In areas where the only free education available is in the form of conservative, fundamentalist madrassas (many funded by the Saudi government), access to broad general education is key to fighting terrorism while forging ties with the very people we're trying to help.

It costs $1 per day to pay a teacher in Afghanistan or Pakistan.

Lollapalooza: Jane's Addiction

Holla for Lolla

I volunteered for Lollapalooza again this year and it was, again, a very fun experience. My sister was nice enough to let Annie vacation with her for the weekend so that I didn't have to worry about leaving her for three very long days in a row.

I'm too tired to give a whole overview - which I will at some point - because there are some really funny stories (like a groupie looking for Perry Ferrell at our Volunteer Headquarters - yeah, we're SOOOO cool that he's hanging out here instead of backstage where Jane's Addiction is getting ready to go on in two hours... dumb bimbo).


Friday it rained pretty much ALL day and it was pretty miserable. It cleared up for Depeche Mode, however, so that was cool. I was able to get the boy in to see them, so Friday night ended up being much better than Friday day. Saturday and Sunday were hellishly hot and humid, but overall, not too terrible.

I saw all the headliners I wanted to see, and caught most or all of the sets of some other folks. The lineup I saw or heard (out of order, just as I remember them):

Depeche Mode
Tool
Jane's Addiction
Kaiser Chiefs
Ravonettes
Gomez
MSTRKRFT
The Knux
Rise Against
Atmosphere
Passion Pit

Pretty clouds & skyline from Sunday

Rain on Friday => no fun

MSTRKRFT

Night time shot of Prudential building Sunday night

Jane's Addiction! My friend Jenn got us freakishly close to the stage. We stayed until the crowd got to be too much then moved back a bit. I also have a 7 minute video of their intro/opener that came out REALLY well. I just have to get around to compressing it since it's 800MB

Buckingham Fountain and more pretty clouds from Sunday

Beer garden - why make this thing so tall that short people can't see through?

A guy and his kids waiting for Tool

Free Speech and Democracy?

I have a real problem with what is going on around the country lately. Similar to the corporate and GOP concocted "Tea Parties" on tax day, the GOP and the Health Care lobby have organized mobs of people (literally busing them across the country) to disrupt - not debate, not discuss - disrupt Democratic congressional town halls. Many of the mob members aren't even constituents of the districts in which they are pulling this crap.

How is it defending American values to shut down an honest and open discussion on an important issue by shouting down anyone who disagrees with you? How is denying another persons' right to be heard an American value? How is that furthering the democratic process?

And why isn't the mainstream media calling these people what they are??? Lobbyist plants. These aren't grassroots organized constituents - these are lobbyist puppets who have SCRIPTS!!!

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

And what does holding up a Bible have to do with debating health care reform?

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

This is mature political dialogue?? What is wrong with people??

Pictures, Sailing & Movie Reviews

Today is a really slow day at work, so I finally have some time for an update.

This past weekend was pretty fun. Aside from having to lure Annie outside while people were blowing up small pieces of the neighborhood, it was a good time.

I took Thursday off work to hang out for a few hours with a couple friends in from out of town. We took a tour of the Auditorium Theatre, which is basically about the history and architecture of the building. Those of you who saw Public Enemies saw Johnny Depp standing in the lobby of the theatre for a minute or two. It's truly an amazing building and I am awed every time I am inside.






We got to go up to the Gallery seating area, which is above the 5th balcony, about 72 feet in the air. The Gallery is grandfathered into building codes now, but the new codes would never allow these seats to exist because they are arranged on a 41 degree incline and you seriously get vertigo looking down at the stage. I didn't take any pictures up there - they would not have captured the feeling.

Friday I went to New Buffalo, Michigan and went sailing with the same friends & their family. I'd never been out on an actual sailboat before, and it was a perfect day to be out on Lake Michigan. We went out for a few hours and then went back and had dinner. I got off the train downtown about an hour after the Grant Park fireworks had ended (1 million people crammed into a space of maybe 10-12 square blocks). Thankfully, most of the crowd had dissipated before I got downtown and I was able to get on the El very easily.



Movie Review #1: The Taking of Pellham 123
Saturday I went with 'the boy' to see the Taking of Pellham 123 and I was actually quite pleased with the movie. It was better than I had expected because they did a very good job with character development. We both pretty much had the plot figured out from the beginning, but still thought it was a decent movie. It's a remake of a 70s movie and the plot is basically a hostage situation involving a subway train. John Travolta plays the leader of the hijackers, and the bulk of the movie revolves around him talking to Denzel Washington, a transit dispatcher, over the radio. The interactions between the characters is well done and I'd recommend seeing it if it interests you. The thing I like about movies like this is that there is no clear black and white distinction between the "good guys" and the "bad guys." All of the characters have grey areas, and that makes them much more interesting.

Movie Review #2: Towelhead
A few weeks ago I rented Towelhead, which interested me because it was supposed to be a coming of age story about a half-Lebanese, half-American teenager living in the United States. The title, which was supposed to draw attention to racism and insensitivity, and all the reviews I read indicated that it was supposed to be about the prejudices she faces and that other characters grapple with when cultures, generations, and identities collide.

It is not that.

I hated this movie. I kept watching it just because I thought it might get back to the point, but no. Spoiler alert, I am not hiding anything in this review because I want you to know what you're getting into. If you don't want to know, skip this.

While it is a coming of age story about is Jasira, a 13 year old half-Lebanese girl whose mother sends her to live with her Lebanese father in Texas, it honestly has very little to do with racism or even identity, which is merely a sub-plot. Jasira is sent to live with her father because her mother is a selfish bitch who doesn't believe Jasira when Jasira tells her that her mother's boyfriend was basically molesting her. He only got as far as 'shaving' her, but her mother sees it as her fault and sends her away. From this point on, Jasira's character is nothing but an exotic sexual object - and she's only 13. She lives with her father and is then molested by the father of a kid she's babysitting, who is your stereotype of a conservative, flag-waving, Army reservist Texan. Of course, he and her father both have misconceptions about the other (another bit of the racism subplot). She begins a very inappropriate relationship with this character - which in addition to her dating a black boy in school (there's another little bit of racism in the plot), is the main focus of the plot. It's horrifying to watch this character be used as an object. Now, this is based on a book by the same title, written by an Arab woman. Maybe the book is better and less involved with the sexualization of a teenager. I also have to point out that Alan Ball, the screenwriter for American Beauty, adapted the book for the screenplay. What is it with that man and stories about adult men having inappropriate relationships with teenage girls??? Don't get me wrong, I love American Beauty (a far, far superior movie to this one), but it really makes me wonder why this man is drawn to stories of this kind.

If you're expecting a thoughtful and insightful movie about conflicting identities in America, this is NOT it.


Movie Review #3: Let the Right One In
This was recommended by a friend, so I rented it last week. While the storyline was very interesting - a teenaged vampire (Eli) befriending a bullied boy (Oskar) and the strange relationship between them as Oskar starts to realize what Eli really is, the movie itself was very, very slow. I recently heard from someone else that the book is much, much better (surprise there, right? When is that not the case). I would have liked a lot more character development and backstory. Pretty much the budding relationship between Eli and Oskar is peppered with incidents with the school bullies and myserious disappearances of townsfolk. I will say that the storyline, characters, and style of the movie are very original. I just wanted more to happen.

Machismo

I knew, when moving to Albany Park, that it would be a different feel and, in general, I do like the neighborhood. I do, however, have one major complaint.

What is it with Hispanic men that makes them think it's OK to catcall, leer, and harass women? Where do they learn that this is OK? I don't want to generalize, but seriously, since the weather has gotten nice, this has happened to me on at least a weekly basis.

Let me clarify too - I don't mean a friendly hello, good morning, whatever - there's also plenty of that in the neighborhood too and the majority of people are friendly. That's civilized behavior. That's how you interact with human beings. Leering, making lewd comments, and catcalling is how you interact with someone you have learned is subhuman.

It could also be a class issue as well. Generally speaking, a lot lower and working-class men have NO CLUE how to appropriately interact with women. This is why construction sites are rife with harassment of women who walk by. But every single incident I have encountered in the past few weeks has been a Hispanic man. There's plenty of white and black men in the neighborhood, and they don't do this. Something is severely wrong with a culture that teaches men this is appropriate behavior.

So how do I deal with this? It depends on the severity. I have yet to feel physically threatened by any of them, since they're all at a reasonable distance. If I ignore it, I feel like it give them power and encouragement. On the other hand, giving them attention is what they want, right? It's very difficult to figure out what to do. In some cases, if they're close enough, I've point blank asked them "Do you really think women like it when you talk to them this way?" and that catches them off guard. One guy I told to go "eat a dick" and that seemed to work too. Giving the finger, or saying 'fuck off' sometimes works too. Though many of them make me wish I knew martial arts and could just body slam them to the pavement until they said "sorry" with a mouthful of asphalt.

Ah well, I can dream...

What is family?

I was having a discussion with someone last week about this who was very curious about my decision that I don't want kids. He'd never actually met anyone who had been so decisive about it and was just curious. At first I got defensive, because historically I've always been put on the defensive about this - because, you know, there must be something wrong with me if I don't want what society expects me to want. But after a few minutes it was clear that it was innocent curiosity, not an interrogation. The subject of family, and what that means to someone with no children came up. I guess it is typical that most people think parents + children, or at least blood relatives when you say "family."

As usual, my answer was pretty out-of-the-box. Forget for a moment the choice to not have kids - just consider people who don't - for whatever reason. Are they "family-less?" Of course not. I consider two spouses (of any gender) to be each-other's family, regardless of whether there are children involved. I also include "chosen family" in my definition. By this, I mean those people we choose to let into our inner circle. There are many people I know who have very little, or no blood family (either because they're dead, or because through choice or circumstance they have no contact) and have filled their lives with "chosen" family instead.

I have done the same. As an adult, I've grown more distant from the bulk of my extended family, with a few exceptions and the obvious exception of my immediate "nuclear" family. I barely know most of them and most of them don't really know me either. We have very little in common. Am I still supposed to consider them to be as important in my life as my very close friends with whom I have stronger emotional bonds and common interests? Why? Because society says so? I mean, sure, if something happened to them, I would be emotionally affected, and I would do what I could to help. But if I'm brutally honest with myself, I can admit that it would probably not be as much as if the same thing happened to one of my "chosen family" members with whom I am much closer.

So I guess my answer is this: There's two definitions of family - there's those with whom you share a genetic or legal bond with (in-laws, adopted and step-children, etc), and those to whom you are emotionally bound. Sometimes those two groups overlap, sometimes they don't. I define family as any group of people with whom I have chosen to share my life with and who I let get close to me and vice versa. They're the people I would move heaven and earth to help if I could. Sure, the members of this group can and do change over time - and maybe that makes some people uncomfortable because they feel "family" has to be some constant. But I really think genetics has nothing to do with it.

Opinions? Just curious.

Hotlanta

Some observations from my conference trip to Atlanta:

I went to the annual conference for my professional association this past week in Atlanta. In general, I like going to this conference. The sessions include all kinds of topics on higher education research (my field) and range from best practices regarding assessment of student learning to how to predicting which students are likely to persist to degree completion, to how to use results from various national student surveys, and how changes in state/federal regulations affect institutions, etc. It's an international conference too - so our 'keynote' address was actually four speakers - two from the US, one from Canada and one from Europe's Eurostat to talk about the problems of researching education in a global world where we collect different information in different ways. I know, probably sounds like a snoozer to all of you, but I found it interesting.

I get to catch up with people I know from all over the place - some of whom I meet at these conferences, some of whom used to work in Illinois and moved elsewhere. It's usually a pretty good time.

Outside the conference, I spent some time in the hotel pool and taking a walk to Atlanta's Centennial Olympic Park and the conference arranged for a block of tickets to the Atlanta Braves game. I normally don't go to the baseball outing at the conference, but it was the CUBS, so I had to. Not that I really follow baseball really, but it was fun. Of course, the Cubs blew what could have been a shut-out game. The highlight of the game though, was that there were as many Cubs fans in the stands as Braves fans - and at one point a two-run homer by the Braves was thrown BACK on the field by Cubs fans... we laughed SO hard.

Another observation from the baseball game: What the fuck is it with singing "God Bless America" at the 7th Inning Stretch?????? I know it's the South, but come ON people. You must insert politics into what is supposed to be a fun time?? I don't even know the words to God Bless America, and frankly, don't care to. I don't think any God takes sides regarding man-made nation-states. Fuck that noise.

I'll post some pictures later.

Funzies

Some photos from recent goings on....


What was once Meigs Field, a fairly private airport across the harbor from Soldier Field is now a public park, prairie, and bird sanctuary. I took a trip down there last Sunday & we walked around the whole island - very pretty and very tiring. It's a great place to visit with, by far, my favorite view of the skyline (from the South).

Sculptures on the island:



I reiterate that I need a friend with a boat. I don't want my own boat - too much maintenance and hassle. But I've never been out sailing on the lake and it looks like such a great time...

View of the skyline from the South. Including the additions to Soldier Field - the Southeast sides of which, don't look like a giant space toilet.


An art show opening in the West Town neighborhood I went to with a couple of friends. Mitch O'Connell is a well known and established Chicago artist and he had some pieces along with a newer artist, Brian Morris. This was at the Rotofugi store and gallery. For those unfamiliar, Rotofugi makes all those really strange and wonderful Japanese style inspired toys.

Mitch's collection of skateboard designs. I bought the middle one. I am a patron of the arts now...

Mitch practicing his Zack Efron pose, as he called it. I finally got to meet the artist who designed the Hawaiian caricature tattoo on my back. Super, super nice guy.

Finally - Annie and Scout relaxing on the back porch of the new building.

Curiosity

I've always been a curious person. I remember in high school, driving my physics teacher nuts because he wasn't fully explaining how a solenoid worked and I really wanted to know. I can't remember the exact nature of the question but he told me that the answer was 'beyond the scope of this class period.'

I don't understand non-inquisitive people. Those who take the world as it is, at face value, and just roll with it, without question. The world is the way it is because it is the way it is. I'm more curious WHY the world is the way it is - because unless you understand the 'why,' you can't change anything. I guess that's the problem - resigning oneself to always seeing change or progress as coming from elsewhere rather than from within oneself? Seeing yourself as too insignificant to effect any real change? And, in some cases, having a position in society where your privileges prevent you from seeing any need for change at all? I wonder if social psychologists have explored these differences. They probably have.

I guess there are those who also see critical reflection as threatening to ideologies they adhere to, without any understanding of why they hold them so closely. Or those who see others' questions as challenges or an attempt to prove fault, rather than as curiousness.

Religion and politics are two cases that come to mind with this. Someone who is secure in their own beliefs, have reflected upon them, and know why they believe what they believe are often much more open to challenging questions and open to discussing their beliefs. They recognize that the questioner isn't necessarily trying to debunk their point of view but merely curious as to how that point of view came to be. For these people, even if the questioner is trying to challenge or debunk, are secure enough in their own knowledge and beliefs to defend those beliefs without becoming defensive, if that makes any sense?

I find, often, those who were 'born into' an ideology (again, religion and politics are the best examples) and simply roll with it are less likely to question how they came to believe what they believe. It's just the way I was raised - another version of the "the world is the way it is because that's the way it is" argument. If someone who honestly never thought about why they believe what they believe is asked this question, I can see how anxiety or defensiveness can kick in - because they honestly have no good answer - because they don't know.

I just feel like, if you don't understand WHY you believe what you believe, then you're more likely to be simply following empty rhetoric and rituals. If you don't explore your options (even if you end up right back where you started - it's the journey, not the end point that is important here), then you'll never truly understand where your beliefs lie in the grand scheme of things. For example - most people who simply follow the religion they were raised with, without question, rarely see how much in common all religions have with each other - because they never bothered to explore other faiths and learn about them. This compartmentalization of faith, keeping sects separate from one another, ultimately keeps us from making deeper connections with each other.

I am grateful that I found this blogging community because, without it, I never would have become a more open inquisitor. I always wanted to debate and question issues, but it's rare to find those with opposing views who can and want to do so in a civil and intelligent manner. Even in classes, this is often the case. Granted, a majority of my "faithful readers" have similar viewpoints to my own, but there are enough of you who disagree on key issues and I want to say thanks for discussion. You all prove that discussion and debate doesn't have to be an angry circus.

So, I guess to all of you who don't consider yourself questionners - there's never a bad time to start! Go pick up a book on a subject you know nothing about or that is in direct opposition to something you believe - go on, give it a try. It doesn't hurt, I promise.