Yes, that's the term for them.
CNN had a great article online about the growing trend of over-involved parents on college campuses. I mean, parental involvement is a good thing, but you gotta cut the cord eventually. We had instances of this here, of parents arguing with professional, well-trained, academic advisors over what classes their children should be taking.
Part of the problem is the parent's not letting go, but I think it goes deeper than that. These "kids" don't know how to make decisions for themselves and are calling mommy for help with every problem. That leads me to believe that they were never taught how or allowed to make decisions growing up. Sometimes the best way to learn is to be allowed to make a mistake and have to dust yourself off and move on.
29 August 2005
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9 comments:
I know this friend of the family that has a daughter in college. She calls them in tears if her computer crashes or if her bed is itchy.
They run to her whenever she does this.
I can't stand it.
Who is more to blame? The child for being spoiled or the parents that encourage the behavior?
The answer is in the pudding. These exausted parents that whine over the fact that their cell phone never stops ringing and that their child (big 18 year old child) has the number. ;)
I had to buy my own car and pay for a big portion of my wedding because I chose to move out of the house and start a life with my boyfriend. My parents warned me: If you start acting like an adult and playing house...we're gonna treat you like an adult.
We ended up getting married and being responsible but had I whined for assistance--it would have been minimal.
Who the hell wants to call their parents that much? I did the weekly/biweekly calls on Friday evening before going out "Hi Daddy, still alive, do/don't need money." Being an only child I was pretty sheltered and had life easy, but when the time came to be on my own, sure I had some hiccups and reservations but for the most part embraced it, because it's called growing up. Sure my parents were reluctant to let go on certain points, but that didn't extend to holding my hand every day and reminding me to wipe my ass. Sadie, I'm both horrified and depressed at your story - depressed because I know there's many more kids out there just like this. Sigh.
No kidding! I remember my 3rd or 4th week I went to a midnight movie with a couple friends at the Brew n View and got out and went "holy shit it's 2am!" paused and said "who cares!!!"
Sadie, looks like the new 'puter is workin' for you!
My folks were the same way. I ran off and got married in the middle of my college education. We were INSTANTLY on our own. I was already very mature and responsible, but I learned a LOT about "real" life, real fast.
The best thing we can teach our kids is how to take care of themselves: cooking, cleaning, laundry, BUDGETING, minor car and home repairs, etc.
I agree with all of you. The most assistance I got in college was a package of homemade brownies ... which was greatly appreciated, mind you. I put myself through college without any financial help. They would have helped if they could. Bought my first car (a rusted out '77 Toyota Celica) with summer work money. Now you have juniors in high school in tricked-out Hummers. Parents don't realize that they're dooming their kids instead of helping them.
No, I don't have my new computer yet. My husband ditched all our old foles and programs and rebooted everything so we could at least browse till we get our new one.
These kids won't make it when the zombies come and I put the blame squarely on their overbearing parents.
For those parents out there, if you want your kids to survive, you better let them learn to do some things on their own.
I think when parents are paying most (or all) of their kid's tuition, they have a right to complain if they feel they're not getting their money's worth.
SME: I agree that parents should have a say, esp. if they're paying tuition. School officials don't have a problem with that. The problem is when the kid calls mommy for every little problem and has mommy complain for them - teachest them no self reliance. I asked my parents advice for some problems, but I never had them call my professor and complain for me about a grade.
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