Blogger Crap:
That list of 7s is interesting. I find it interesting that Cillic took the 5 songs and just added it to the list and everyone seemed to start calling it the Lucky Sevens.
I also wonder if there's something telling in which sections were easiest and hardest to complete for everyone? My hardest was things I can do, and the easiest was things I can't - an interesting way of looking at my pessimism and self doubt huh? I mean - there's lots of things that I CAN do, but how many are interesting enough to make the top 7. Tie my shoes? wipe? ya know? It's weird. Anyone have problems with a particular section?
Baby Crap:
I'm going to a past-due baby shower this weekend. My cousin had an emergency c-section and the shower was postponed until now. She was having siezures and was in and out of the hospital for a while too. Public Service Announcement: If you know anyone taking anti-seizure medication AND using the birth control patch - it don't work. OOPS. I got her a book called The Three Martini Playdate: A Practical Guide to Happy Parenting. It's one of the funniest books I've seen in a while. I have a habit of getting people strange books when they have kids. I figure they have enough pacifiers and onesies and blankets and whatnot, and they probably need a laugh. My favorites thus far are:
Baby's First Tattoo: A Memory Book for Modern Parents
"Millions of people think children are the cutest, cuddliest, most wonderful, saintly creatures in the entire world. These people do not have children. .." This lovely memory book includes all the moments most memory books forget: Baby's first projectile vomit, most parents ever paid for a 2 oz serving of squash, and first time baby ate dirt.
The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Troubleshooting Tips, and Advice on First-Year Maintenance.The great thing about this one is it's not just funny, it's useful. It displays common baby advice that appears in other such books in a funny, owner's manual format, including the handy "parts list". Instructions on how to install and troubleshoot your new baby are entertaining and useful.
Three Martini Playdate: A Practical Guide to Happy Parenting My favorite chapter (yes, I've sneeked a peek) is practical childproofing, how to know when you've gone overboard. The author recounts her experience of almost peeing on her friends floor before figuring out the complicated lock on her toilet seat, wondering how many children really drown in toilets and wouldn't a hook on the door do the trick just as well.
So for my friends, when you have kids, expect one of these or something like it. Except H-Bomb and Cillic - you're getting Nair in addition to a silly book.
Doggie Crap:
Dogs are amazing to me. I know I sound like some new parent saying that their kid is the smartest little twirp in his class, but Annie is a pretty damn smart dog. She now knows that if she sees a squirrel (a word she knows and sends her into a searching frenzy) in one tree, that she should run to the adjacent tree because they jump across. She isn't smart enough, however, to realize that no matter how hard she tries, she can't climb trees.
This morning, I took her out for her morning walk - which is getting harder and harder by the way because 6am is becoming progressively darker. We go around the block, she does her thing, and we're coming back home. Since it was a quick walk, I was going to take her "squirrel hunting" in the park. She loves to chase them. We walk past our house and she goes immediately up the steps. I figure something spooked her (she's still afraid of sudden noises) so I took her inside. She's all excited about something. I take off her leash, and she's running around the apartment, obviously LOOKING for something. I have no idea what her deal is. 2 minutes later, John walks in from outside - scaring the shit out of me I might add. See, he figured he could surprise us at the park, thinking I would take Annie there. He left shortly after we did. Annie didn't see him - but it became clear that the reason she was so excited to go inside is that she knew he was awake. She must have smelled him. Weird huh?
Political Crap:
I know you, my faithful readers, need no more evidence that Pat Robertson is a total idiot. Alas, I just have to ask:
How can one person encourage both communism and Muslim extremism? That's what Pat Robertson accused Hugo Chavez of doing? Wasn't one of the US's big beefs with communism that it was "godless". Supression of religious freedom by supressing religion itself? So pray tell, how can someone advocate both? Just curious.
I loved Jon Stewart's take on this whole thing - that it's nice to be able to say whatever you want if you own your own television station. Emphasizing his point by saying "Fuck" a bunch of times and being bleeped.
25 August 2005
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20 comments:
Re: problems with the list. Mostly I did it in my typical fashion: set up the framework, started each list, and then filled in the gaps as they occurred to me. Oddly enough, the song list was hard for me because I've been pretty much listening to one album for a week and I didn't just want to use a track list. Celebrity crushes was easiest. Seven things to do before I die was hardest, because I like to qualify things with "might" and "would like to" -- just in case I don't. Not that anyone would hold me to the list. Just sayin'.
The Three Martini Playdate is, by the way, a brilliant piece of literature. :)
Laura, you truly rock. Those books, just by their titles, look hilarious! I want to meet the person who thought up the "Three Martini Playdate"! shoulda thought of that when my kids were little!
Amanda dear, I don't question his faith or his fervor. Just his basic lack of understanding of the inherent ideological opposition between religious extremism and communism. If he's such a worldly man, he should know the difference.
Just because he's a man of god doesn't make him infallible or immune from criticism. He's a human, just like the rest of us. And he should be held accountable for his actions and his inflammatory rhetoric.
Pray tell - why would a man of god call for an assassination?
"If he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it,"
A bit hypocritical? I know - there's no commandment against hypocrisy in your Bible.
Who the hell is Pat Robinson? If he's such a peaceful man of God, I would LOVE to see him take to the airwaves instead of having to listen to Pat Robertson's latest swill.
By the way, as Robertson's allies have said, PR talks about Christian matters for a certain amount of time on his show, and does political punditry for a certain amount of time. The call for assassination was during the time of day when he's a pundit and NOT a Christian. So shut the hypocrisy mumbo-jumbo because it doesn't apply.
Amanda makes herself look like a foolish kid by getting Robertson's name wrong, writing style aside.
As for childproofing -- way overrated. Just keep knives, outlets and cleaning chemicals out of the way and pay attention to your kids, for God's sakes!
That's EXACTLY what I say, Jason!! How can a kid drown in a toilet if you're WATCHING them?
The hardest 7 for me was Things to do before I die. I've already done most of them, so I had to come up with new ones.
We should've known that Amanda is a Robertson fan ;)
BAD news for early risers; we're getting MORE damned Daylight Savings Time! Poor Annie will be out before the squirrels are up.
The squirrels in our yard know exactly how high our dog can reach and taunt him 2 inches over his nose.
I've actually done a 3 drink(hate martinis) play date. It does WONDERS for your psyche!
I am going to start my religion so non-thinking robot types like good ole' Amanda won't dare ever question me.
Then the shit hits the fan...my version of the apocalypse involves a donkey, tinker-toys and an ocean of hot fudge.
Amanda, Amanda, Amanda. I pray for you and I don't even believe in God. Your hero, the Patster, is and always has been completely unhinged. Are these the quotes of a sane person?
"Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history."
Here's an oldie but goodie:
"I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household and the husband is the head of the wife, and that's the way it is, period."
If you're a masochist, there are some more here:
Quotes from the Religious Right
Amanda - wrong again... you are quoting Robertson's rebuttal to the criticism. The actual ORIGINAL quote was
"If he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it," (CNN.com)
Feel free to post here as much as you like, I just ask that you know your facts first before you enter into an argument that you obviously haven't paid close enough attention to.
The quote you are referring to is his later attempt to claim he was misinterpreted:
"I didn't say 'assassination.' I said our special forces should 'take him out.' And 'take him out' can be a number of things, including kidnapping..." (CNN.com)
Thus, he was caught LYING.
Robertson himself has even said it was wrong to "call for an assassination".
As for your "don't criticize" mentality, that is very naiive of you. If we all just sat back and sniffed the big pile of shit our government laid in front of us, we wouldn't live in a democracy. We should be vigilant in being critical of our government - because power yields corruption. And corruption in an environment of apathy such as yours, breeds totalitarianism.
If its one thing we need more of - its people calling for "assination" on TV.
Robertson used the word "assasination" DIRECTLY, meat-pants. There's no going back on this one.
Please use a spell check or something in the future. Actually don't - it makes what you say more funny and forgivable.
here: this article has a link to the original comment Robertson made. Watch for yourself.
Does assination make the ass smaller? Sign me UP if it does!!!
Lucky for us Amanda, your mistakes aren't nearly on a scale as the president. When you or I fuck up, it doesn't make the world a worse off place beyond our tiny scope.
Its getting to be where if Bush didn't fuck up, that would more news worthy than if he made his usual idiot blunders.
As for Pat Robertson - I see him as a religious fundamentalist who's poking into world politics for his own means. This sounds exactly like Osama bin Laden.
When our religious leaders are hoping for an assasination, this means they're no better than any Muslim cleric that issues a fatwah.
"meat-pants". John, you absolutely slay me. I'd never heard that expression before. :-)
Laura, I'd love to know which bookstores you go to, 'cause I wanna go there too!!
Wasn't Pat Robinson married to Mrs. Robinson?
3 martinis? Anyone who could drink 3 and still stand up, wow. I had two martinis friday night and told a little bit more about myself than I should have. :p
I know it's a book title, but I just had to say that.
Dogs are amazing to me too. I love watching my dog dream. She always has the happiest dreams but every once in awhile, I'll catch her in a nightmare. I'm tempted to wake her but I heard you're not supposed to interrupt someone's dreams.
ZS - evidently you've never seen my wife in action...
I dunno, I kinda think 3 martinis would make me stumble...
SME: I found Tattoo first, at Amazon just browsing baby books. I found the Owner's Manual at a little trendy store in Oak Park, and the Three Martini book at a little place by our apartment. But they're all available at Amazon.
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